What More Can You Give Me? Black Parent Advocacy

Jason Miller

Welcome back to The Parenting While Black Recap. I'm Jason Miller, here with Emily Carter, continuing a series on Nurturing Legacy, Love, and Liberation. Our conversation on Building Futures Black Parent Advocacy, discusses the stories of resilience Black parents’ face in commitment to their children’s futures.

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This podcast summarizes a full conversation held as part of the Brazelton Touchpoints Center's Family to Family Real Talk Program in March 2025. That conversation was hosted by Kimya Barden, a parenting scholar and associate professor of Urban Community studies at Northeastern Illinois University Chicago.

Jason Miller

Kimya was joined by Doctor Chrishana M. Lloyd and Dawn Hubbard. Chrishana is a research scholar at Child Trends with over twenty-five years of experience in the social science and educational fields. Much of her research works towards finding solutions within systems that serve people and communities who have been minoritized and marginalized.

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Dawn is a pediatric occupational therapist. Her mission is to empower children to achieve the best version of themselves despite delay, diagnosis or different abilities. As Dawn believes that laughter is healing, her approach to working with children and families always incorporates fun to maximize their functional abilities.

Jason Miller

The conversation framed advocacy pretty broadly: with moms, dads, grandparents, caregivers using their voices on behalf of children. Dawn, drawing from decades of working with families, described that relentless mother who simply would not accept "no" as the final answer. That was her picture of an advocate.

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And Chrishana took that one step wider. She brought in her own perspective as a Black mother of three boys -- including twins, one with physical and developmental disabilities, and all three with Individual Education Plans. And her point was, advocacy may start in one house, but it rarely stays there.

Jason Miller

That experience reframes advocacy as inheritance. As Chrishana says, not a one-time meeting at school, but a tradition. Chrishana also rooted that tradition historically, especially through early childhood. She talked about scholar Crystal Sanders's work on Head Start in Mississippi in the 1960s -- around 2,500 Black women, many of them domestics and sharecroppers, who helped build that program while the civil rights movement was unfolding. Bringing up an important part of the discussion, to treat Black parent advocacy like foundational labor. Those women weren't just helping kids learn colors and letters. They were creating educational access, jobs, political participation -- basically building a structure while standing inside systems that did not respect them.

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Dawn echoed that in a more everyday situation -- PTA members, grandparents, church communities, local school councils, all the people with what she called "boots on the ground." Making advocacy sound active and ordinary at the same time. She says it's showing up at the school, joining the meeting, making the call, staying present. Echoing love plus systems knowledge. Dawn says you're protecting your child, but you're also learning acronyms, procedures, who's in charge, what documentation matters, which office to email. It's caregiving and bureaucracy at the same time.

Jason Miller

The idea that nobody romanticized advocacy. They described it as necessary, exhausting, collective, and deeply skilled. Especially true when families are navigating bias, disability services, educational transitions, or the constant risk of being dismissed.

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The clearest takeaway for me was Chrishana's three-part playbook: document, observe, include your child. She gave a real example from her youngest son's kindergarten year, when the school kept describing him as disruptive, not listening, not paying attention. Which at least throughout history, are words that have been used when describing black boys.

Jason Miller

Chrishana conducted her own observation. She didn't just accept the school's interpretation. Since preschool, she had already been documenting her son’s behavior patterns at home. Chrishana went into the classroom herself, sat there, and observed what was actually happening. And what she found was not simply "my child is the problem." She found classroom management issues, imbalance, and a teacher who was not adequately equipped.

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Observation changes the balance. Chrishana hearing, "Your son is struggling." is one thing. It's another to see the room, the teacher's skill level, the ratio, and the whole environment. The big picture, don't let the system narrate your child to you without evidence.

Jason Miller

Chrishana paired that observation with research. She referenced work on preschool expulsion and the disproportionate impact on Black children, especially Black boys. Not just saying "I feel this is unfair," showing "there is a documented pattern here, and my child fits it." Drilling home the point, that this is how parents can shift a conversation from opinion to informed advocacy.

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Chrishana then said that during a meeting at the school, she brought her son into the room. At one point, she pulled her son onto her lap. And with her arms around him, he started crying and said he felt like a bad person... that they didn't like him... that he was the problem. Suddenly this wasn't just about classroom conduct. It was about emotional safety. It was about what adults communicate to children before children even have the language to defend themselves. And Chrishana made the point explicitly: Black children are often treated like adults. They are not always seen first as children.

Jason Miller

Dawn came at the same issue from a slightly different angle, and I thought the contrast was useful. She emphasized helping children develop their own voices early -- even in low-stakes settings. For example, letting them order for themselves at a restaurant. Letting them say what they do or don't want. Letting them practice speaking in safe spaces, so that self-advocacy becomes a muscle.

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Dawn's other practical point was about posture. Be solution-oriented. That doesn't mean ignore harm or suppress your anger. It means walk in ready to ask: what can we do together? What will I do at home? What will you do at school? What is the plan? She warned that when a conversation starts with opposition, the door can close fast. Dawn didn't make that sound easy. She admitted that internally you may absolutely feel accusatory. But outwardly, she was urging parents to build a paper trail -- email, text, written requests -- and then save the heart of the issue for face-to-face conversation when possible, because tone gets lost in writing. And she added something really humane: before that hard conversation, take 60 or 90 seconds to re-center yourself. Breathe. Ground. Don't walk in fully in fight-or-flight if you can help it.

Jason Miller

The panel then widened out again, Chrishana spoke very directly about the political climate -- disappearing language on federal pages and in grants, words like "accessible," "advocacy," "inclusive," "anti-racism," even "Black" being removed. Her point was stark: when language disappears, people can be made to disappear too. Chrishana explained how this is early into a new agenda and things are happening at rapid speed.

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And both panelists were adamant that this is not the moment to disengage. Dawn said, if you've never been civically involved, now is the time. Join local organizations. Work at the church level, the school level, the city level, the state level. She tied today's moment to a longer civil rights tradition and said, in essence, this is when you mobilize, not retreat.

Jason Miller

There was a practical realism to it too. Chrishana said people in philanthropy, in private institutions, in support roles may want to help -- but they need to know what's gone. What's missing. What was there that isn't there now. Which takes us right back to documentation. You can't fight for a service you never tracked.

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On father engagement, both panelists were clear that fathers are often sidelined by assumption. Chrishana described how schools and systems tend to direct everything to mothers, even when fathers are present and engaged. She and her husband intentionally share communications, and she noted -- very candidly -- that sometimes his presence is received differently.

Jason Miller

And Dawn's answer was: don't just say dads matter, build programming that signals it. "Dads with donuts," "pancakes with dads" -- whatever it is, make father presence visible and expected. Invite it on purpose.

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On bias, the answer was less neat. Keep documenting. Keep escalating through proper channels. Talk to other parents. Don't assume that if you don't get immediate confirmation, nothing is happening. Chrishana shared that in her own case, she never got a neat explanation -- but the teacher at the center of the problem was gone the following year.

Jason Miller

So the lesson isn't "trust the system." It's more like: pressure can work even when outcomes are partially invisible. Especially in personnel situations where schools won't tell you everything.

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Then there was the question of overwhelm, which I think every parent and caregiver understood immediately. Chrishana's answer was to break the elephant into smaller pieces. Figure out what exactly is overwhelming you. Is it the research? The scheduling? The meeting? The follow-up? Then decide what can be delegated. Dawn answered from the other side: focus on what you can control today, even if the larger climate feels frightening.

Jason Miller

Dawn said use the tool already in your hand -- your phone. Make an album, a playlist, a note, a little pocket of things that re-center you. Whatever brings joy. She said it plainly: the advocate needs an advocate.

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And Chrishana added her own version: walk outside for 20 minutes. Get air, sunlight, human contact, community. She talked about seeing neighbors, speaking to people in passing, being grounded in nature and in relationship. She also named the deeper cultural resources that sustain Black families across the diaspora -- music, prayer, spirituality, community.

Jason Miller

The panelists conclude that this is about a parent who takes notes with the child’s well-being in mind. Other families nearby. Somebody from church, somebody from school, maybe a social worker, maybe another parent on the bus route. And in the middle of all that, one stubborn refusal to let a child be misread.

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In a call to action, they want us to treat advocacy as a special act of courage and start recognizing it as part of how communities keep children visible. Thank you for listening to The Parenting While Black recap.

Jason Miller

To learn more about the Parenting While Black conversation series, follow the link in the episode description on this page. Until next time. Take care, everyone.